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The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing |
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The original version:
A wolf found great difficulty in getting at the sheep owing to the vigilance of the shepherd and his dogs. But one day it found the skin of a sheep that had been flayed and thrown aside, so it put it on over its own pelt and strolled down among the sheep. The lamb that belonged to the sheep, whose skin the wolf was wearing, began to follow the wolf in the sheep's clothing so, leading the lamb a little apart, he soon made a meal of her, and for some time he succeeded in deceiving the sheep, and enjoying hearty meals.
The modern version:
The sneaky wolf surveyed the flock and realized he had a slim chance bagging a sheep due to the shepherd’s watchful eye and the tenacity of his sheepdogs, so he called it a day.
One day, however, the wolf found the pelt of a sheep that had been skinned off and discarded, which he grabbed and donned over his own pelt. In his own mind, he thought, “not shabby at all, making me dressed to kill!” The wolf felt that he now looked like a sheep on the outside. He strolled at a leisurely pace among the flock. A little lamb recognized him as one of her parents and followed the wolf around. The wolf kidnapped the little lamb and devoured it.
He enjoyed many feasts for quite a while before he was found out. The wolf was convicted of kidnapping and murder, and sentenced to hard labour.
The Hare and the Tortoise
The original version:
The hare was once boasting of his speed before the other animals. “I have never yet been beaten,” said he, “when I put forth my full speed. I challenge any one here to race with me.”
The tortoise said quietly, “I accept your challenge.”
“That is a good joke,” said the hare; “I could dance ‘round you all the way.”
“Keep your boasting till you’ve beaten me,” answered the tortoise. “Shall we race?” So a course was fixed and a start was made.
The hare darted almost out of sight at once, but soon stopped and, to show his contempt for the tortoise, lay down to have a nap. The tortoise plodded on and plodded on, and when the hare awoke from his nap, he saw the tortoise just near the winning-post and could not run up in time to save the race. Then said the tortoise: “Plodding wins the race.”
The modern version:
The hare was bored to tears, so he jumped up and bragged to the all the other animals that he was faster than Speedy Gonzales, and challenged anyone to race him. The tortoise said, “you got to be kidding!” He thought that the hare was a real dodo and had a screw loose. “You’re a braggart and I’m sick and tired of your boasting,” said the tortoise. “I accept your challenge!”
“Don’t joke with me,” said the hare. “You’re a pain in my butt, and you’ll only beat me when pigs fly!” The tortoise was quiet for a long time, and the hare finally said, “what’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?”
“Mind your P’s and Q’s,” said the tortoise, “it ain’t over ‘til the fat lady sings! Let’s race!” He was really gung-ho.
“It’s a deal. Let’s get going, we don’t have all day! Well, you might,” snickered the hare.
The race course was measured and properly marked with start and finish lines. The hare and the tortoise lined up side by side in their starting blocks, the hare thinking it would be a piece of cake. When the gun went off to start the race, the hare shot out of the blocks like a jet plane! The tortoise plodded along thinking “I’m on my way!”
The hare thought himself to be a sure winner, so halfway through the race course he stopped and laid down to take a nap thinking, “I can stay here ‘til the cows come home, and I’ll still beat the tortoise!”
The tortoise put his head down and plodded along tenaciously putting one foot in front of the other. When he passed the sleeping hare he thought to himself, “Hare today and gone tomorrow! It’s about time that I put that ignorant rodent in his place!” When the hare woke up from his nap, he looked around, and saw that the tortoise was just about to cross the finish line.
An expression of surprise was written all over the hare’s face, and he took off like a rocket attempting to beat the tortoise, but to no avail. When the tortoise crossed the line, one of the spectators asked him where the hare was. “I’m not my brother’s keeper,” said the tortoise.
The hare crossed the finish line as the loser of the race, and continued into the forest where he hid in his den and had a tall glass of carrot juice to drown his sorrow.
The tortoise entered the winner’s circle, surveyed the crowd and advised them to look out for flying pigs, then he made a profound statement. “I’m sick and tired of the confounded bragging by that insolent hare. We all know that steady Eddy is always victorious.”
Now just for laughs. Ole walked into the CEO’s office and asked him, “Excuse me sir, but could I please take tomorrow off so I can help my wife with her Christmas house cleaning?”
“Absolutely not!” said the CEO.
“Thank you very much,” said Ole, “I knew I could count on you sir!”
